What Are The 5 Love Languages?

Have you ever felt like you are simply not on the same page as your loved one? For example, has your partner ever shared that they are feeling unloved or under appreciated, but you, feeling very confused, told them just yesterday that you loved them? This may be because you are speaking different Love Languages.

Communication is key in any successful relationship and Dr. Gary Chapman, who is best known for his concept of the “5 Love Languages”, suggests that we all communicate differently when it comes to how we express and receive love.  Although everyone can enjoy each of the five Love Languages, we do tend to have one primary language that resonates most with us and because of this, it is easy to miss the mark when it comes to showing others that we care.

 The following are the five Love Languages:

1.     Words of Affirmation.
This is essentially the “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, and/or any other words that affirm another person.  It is often a positive statement, or series of statements, that are used to confirm, support or uplift our loved ones in positive way. Words of Affirmation can be spoken or written, and furthermore, can be face-to-face, in a card, or in a voicemail/video message!

2.     Acts of Service.
This Love Language is more measurable and action-oriented. It is cleaning off their car when it snowed because you know they are running late. It is starting a load of laundry, or picking up a bag of milk on your way home from work because you noticed it was running low. Acts of Service are those tasks that require you to reprioritize your time to help/benefit your loved one.

3.     Quality Time.
The decision to intentionally spend time together is the foundation of this particular Love Language. It is a date night on a Saturday evening, or going for a walk after dinner for no other reason than to spend time with one another. Quality Time is not the same as time spent. What I mean by that is, just because you spent the day together running errands, cleaning the house, or simply cohabitating does not mean that you have shared Quality Time with one another. The time is meaningful and works within a ‘quality over quantity’ mindset.

4.     Receiving Gifts.
This Love Language is exactly how it sounds. It is receiving a tangible item, whether it was purchased or hand-made, 5 dollars or 500 hundred dollars. It is a visual symbol of love and commonly, we see this in the form of flowers, jewelry, a cup of coffee, a homemade scrapbook, etc. Gifts do not have to be elaborate nor expensive, but like Quality Time, they do have to be intentional.

5.     Physical Touch.
This Love Language is the action of physically touching your partner or loved one, whether it is a hug, a high-five, a pat on the back, a kiss, holding hands, etc. Physical Touch can be tricky at times because everyone has different boundaries and it is important to always respect those boundaries. If you or your loved ones primary Love Language is Physical Touch, it may be helpful to have a conversation about what that may look like and what would be most meaningful/comfortable for them.

 Despite knowing your primary Love Language, or the primary Love Language of your loved one, it is equally as important to know how to implement this language into your everyday conversations. If you are struggling to effectively communicate in your relationship, or simply want some additional information on how to better understand your Love Language, please do not hesitate to Contact Me!